Saturday, July 01, 2006

One example of why Microsoft sucks ass...

... y'all knew it was coming, right?

My Dad very kindly sent me his old Palm, which I needed, since my rather smallish purse is filled with notebooks and address books and slips of paper with randowm info written on them. Time to get organized, and manage the time better, so yay for new (used) Palms.

Once he told me he was sending it, I followed his suggestion and downloaded the manual for said Palm from online and read through it to see what I could do with it. Turns out I can synchronize my MSN calendar and task list (which has really been a lifesaver for me in the way of organization) to Outlook (already on my computer, even!) and then from Outlook into the Palm. All my stuff, all the same, on both the computer and the Palm, how convenient! All I have to do is install a couple programs.. one to connect the MSN stuff to Outlook (called Connector) and one to connect the Outlook stuff to the Palm (called PocketMirror... on the CD Dad is sending with the Palm) so I go and download the Connector. At this time, it is 8am Thursday.

This, my friends, is where things went to shit.

Connector downloaded, and immediately told me I was screwed. Turns out hotmail, msn, and qwest (my choices for email) all use only HTTP settings for email rather than POP3 or something like that, which would seem to be what normal ISP places use. This is causing Connector to basically get a headache and not want to play nice anymore. Until I get past it, I can't get my email into Outlook, and until I get my email there (for some godawful reason) I can't get the calendar or the task list. Finally after some diligent googling and a lot of cursing, I message find a workaround for that, which involves changing all kinds of settings, lying to all kinds of programs, and pretty much making shit up so it is tricked into using the HTTP settings. Of couse, I understand none of this. Then suddenly, everytime I open Outlook, it just goes away. After an hour and a half of trying to figure that one out myself, I message a friend, who does some nifty thing where he takes control of my computer screen from his office, looks at some things, finds something or another, and tells me this: When you have Outlook 2000 and upgrade to Outlook 2003, the drivers get switched around and make it so neither version will work.

WTF? Something meant to be an upgrade actually screws you? How very very um, MICROSOFT. Time for swim lessons.

So far: 4 restarts, 6 downloads, and I have my mail into Outlook. No calendar, no task list. The time is now 4pm Thursday.

After a break to take the kids to swim lessons, it's back to the task of figuring out how to get Outlook to stay on the computer screen long enough to be getting the calendar and task list into Outlook. Cause, you know, this is really all I need the Palm for, and the only way to get around entering it myself on a device without a keyboard is to get it into Outlook first. More googling ensues. More cursing ensues. The drinking begins. I uninstall Connector, and Office, and reinstall them both. This is when for no reason whatsoever not only all of my Office programs, but my MSN stuff dissappears. The computer insists it is all there somewhere, but I can't find it. So now I have no email, no calendar, no task list, no Word, no Excel, no NOTHING. And no way to reinstall it, because when I try, the computer says it's already there. More googling ensues, which is proof the MSN is in there somewhere... I can get online. I just can't read my mail. Everywhere I google says to uninstall, then reinstall Outlook, then run a detect and repair. Okey dokey. The uninstall/reinstall gets me back my programs, but when I push detect and repair on the Outlook menu, it tells me I need to insert my original installation disc. Problem. I don't have one. Not that I lost it, or anything like that... my computer came installed with Office 2000 and a free trial of Office 2003, which I ended up purchasing. SO no disc. I call my father in law who is scheduled to be here Monday, and see if he has a disc. He does. So my brilliant idea? Uninstall, reinstall by getting the free trial on the Microsoft website, then I'll just put his number in there to register it so that I don't have to pay. Cool. More drinking takes place. Now, I have to reinstall the Connector. Again. So I do. And I have mail. Again. But still no calendar or task list.

So far: 17 restarts (yep. really.) 11 downloads, and I have my mail in Outlook... and it's not dissappearing when I open it. No calendar, no task list. The time is now 3am Friday, so I go to bed.

Ahh, a new day. Not much sleep, as it's now 7am Friday. Let's see about getting that calendar into Outlook, shall we? I'll save the details... around uh, noonish was it, Kerri? I finally met with success. Now to get that Palm from Dad. I already rea the manual and know JUST what to do to get my Outlook onto the Palm, yay! After swim lessons, the Palm is on the porch.

So far: 22 restarts, 12 downloads, and everything is syncing away between MSN and Outlook, and I am even liking Outlook a bit. Time is 7pm Friday.

Ok, get it out. Plug it in, put in the software CD, download the Palm program thingy. And the synching thingy. Strange, there doesn't seem to be any PocketMirror on this disc, but no biggie, we'll figure it out. Now, put the Palm in the doodad, hit the sync button and... Voila! NOTHING! Check the manual. Ahh, TELL it you're using Outlook. Ok. Hit the sync button again and... MAIL! Wait, I don't really need the mail. Must have checked the boxes I should have left alone and vice versa. No, that's not it. Check the manual. It says when it asks if I want to use Outlook, say yes... but it's not asking. Google. Nothing. Repeat. Nothing. Restart. Nothing. Go watch stupid movie and then go to bed.

So far: 24 restarts, 14 downloads and I have everything in Outlook and Mail on the Palm. Time is 11pm Friday.

7am Saturday... Let's see what is going on. Looks like there's not really a synch program on this disc that works with Outlook and Palm OS. There is one for Outlook and Windows Mobile, and one for Palm OS and Franklin Covey. No problem. Must be plenty of shareware or free trials or whatever, let's go and read some reviews. BeyondContacts looks good, 30 day free trial, not to much to buy if I like it, compatible with my PC, my Palm, my Palm OS, and my version of Outlook. Excellent. I download it. I install it. I get an error message on the computer screen, and a FATAL error message on the Palm, so I restart and try again. Same thing. Unplug the Palm thing from the computer, then restart and try again. Same thing. Uninstall and reinstall BeyondContacts... same damn thing. Google, visit the support website, try 7 other things... same thing. Find another program which is FREE called ActiveSynch, says it is compatible with my Palm and my Palm OS. Download, install, and... it can't find my device.. and offers no way for me to tell it where it is. How very very... MICROSOFT. (Did I mention Activesynch is a MS program? No? It is.) Google. Download the very latest version of the Palm OS. Restart, try again... still can't find it. Give up and go to PocketMirror for their free trial. It only lasts 7 days, but we are desperate now. Download, install, hit the synch button and... MAIL!. *sigh* Change settings, restart and... finally. Everything is in there. The time is now... 3pm Saturday. Total restarts: 31. Total downloads: 19. But at least I have my calendar and task list on the Palm, and it *should* update nice for me now.

Here is the kicker. What I would have had to do to make this all work on a Mac... even with a Palm, a device meant to be used with Windows.

1. Plug the Palm into the Mac.
2. Install the Mac versions of the Palm software.
3. Push the button.

Yes, I probably would have had to go to the websites to download the Mac versions of Palm OS and PocketMirror. (2 downloads, 20 minutes.) But from all I read, the whole synch thing goes smooth as silk with iLife and mac.com... and remember I did a LOT of googling answers to my problems. In fact, on at least 3 different sites, "buy a mac" was offered as the solution. Yes, there would have been some setup, in the form of nifty windows that pop up and ask me (with a sexy voice, if I so choose) things like "Why Holly, what do you want on your Palm? Please check as many items in the box below as you would like, and I will be happy to send them there." (could be an exaggeration... but not the voice, it really does talk to you. and it probably is really that easy.) All in all though, the whole thing would have taken an hour, not 32 hours. I can almost guarantee there would not have been one single restart, but if there had to be one, there would only be one, and it would have taken about a tenth of the time it takes to restart a Windows machine.

So there, if you read that far, you are either really bored or extremely interested in my rants, either way, give yourself a high five for staying awake. And remember... Microsoft is evil. And sucks ass. But that's just my opinon... I could be wrong. :)

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sooo need a hoodie.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Terry said...

this is why I keep a spiral notebook (real live paper) and a pen in my purse. I couldnt take it. I'd been out in the driveway with the skidloader running back and forth over it. And I stuck around for the high five!!!!

12:58 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I get a high five!!!

I think you should take a vacation after all that.....say, to California?
Glad you got it all worked out though. :)

3:58 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

I understood nothing you just said - but that's waaaaaay too many restarts!

3:59 PM  
Blogger monica said...

I didn't understand either and confess to skipping over some technical junk. I am with Terry about sticking with a pen & paper! I have been trying to add the DVD recorder to the entertainment set up in the living room for about 3 weeks now. After an hour each night, I give up! Still not able to use the stinkin' thing~

6:11 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

I can't do a notebook. I hate having to carry a purse big enough for a regular size one, and honestly I HAVE to write EVERYTHING down or I forget, so I end up filling up a little one in like 3 days. Plus, I need everything in my purse and at home, and one notebook means I forget it at home when I need it out, and vice versa. So this works out perfect for me. Well, now. And so far. High fives to all of you.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Traci said...

My husband would have kicked me off the computer after the first hour.

Pen and paper girl here, or a nice business card holder for my purse and demand business cards from people. LOL!

High Five!

1:27 PM  
Blogger Lola said...

Dear Holly,

Please buy a Motorola Q and try to sync it with Microsoft Excahnge Server.

I want to learn new swearwords.

<3

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a Q

3:52 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Hey Holly! Sorry about the mess with everything -- hope it all gets straightened out!! I sent a couple of CJs this week. Let me know when they get there!!

10:28 PM  

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